


Nude Recreation Week

by PetrichorPerfume



Series: Shenanigans [34]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: And also who raised him, Criminal Castiel, Criminal Dean, Criminal Sam, Everyone is an outlaw, God and Michael are the magic answers, He wants to know who named Lucifer, M/M, Multi, Officer Good is so done, Poor Officer Good, Sam and Adam are normal, This isn't the first or last time they'll be arrested
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-31
Updated: 2014-07-31
Packaged: 2018-02-11 06:11:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2056818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PetrichorPerfume/pseuds/PetrichorPerfume
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Officer Good arrests Michael, Lucifer, Gabriel, Castiel, Dean, Sam, and Adam for public indecency in the town's communal pool. They tell him their story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nude Recreation Week

Officer Good is tired of his town’s resident menaces being... Well, menaces.

 

He knows all of their names by now, and knows that at least five of them are crazy. He’s pretty sure he’s got them all figured out, too – Michael and Lucifer (and who names their child _Lucifer,_ really?) are the heads of their family. The others follow along, some of them reluctantly, others, like Gabriel, eagerly. Sam and Adam are the ones he’s most likely to catch doing human things like shopping for groceries or eating like civil people at restaurants. The others... Well, if he didn’t know better, he’d say that the others weren’t from around here in more ways than one.

 

When all seven of them get arrested on the same night for public indecency at the communal pool, he shoves them all into one jail cell (from what he’s heard of their private lives, they don’t mind the proximity) and pulls up a stool in front of the door and stares at them for a moment before saying, “Tell me your story.”

 

Michael and Lucifer turn to one another and start to converse in another language. Sam and Dean, who he’s figured out are brothers by now (he’s pretty sure that there are other brotherly pairs in their ‘family,’ but because he knows what other pairs they’ve split off into, he _really_ doesn’t want to know) start to whisper in English.

 

He gives them a minute to get their stories straight before clearing his throat. They share a few looks between them before everyone’s eyes settle on Castiel. “You wouldn’t believe us,” he says.

 

“Try me.”

 

They tell him their story, starting with the Creation of the universe and God and Michael and Heaven, all the way down the line of history to when Michael, Lucifer, and Adam escaped from the Cage. They explain how they all came to live together and who they are now and what they do and how they’re really just enjoying their retirement until the humans die and can join them in Paradise.

 

The more Officer Good hears, the more incredulous he becomes. “You can’t possibly expect me to believe that,” he says, voice shaking just a little bit.

 

Michael tilts his head. “We don’t expect you to believe anything.” His eyes bore into Officer Good’s soul. “And besides, in your heart of hearts, you believe every single word.” For a moment, Officer Good sees every one of Michael’s billions of years, then the moment is gone and his face once again morphs into that of the sparkling-eyed, smiling, goofy town menace.

 

Lucifer raises his hand to snap.

 

“Wait!” Officer Good says.

 

They all look at him expectantly. “Please... Use the door. Like normal people. You’ll... Uh. You’ll save me a lot of paperwork.” He unlocks them. “Heh, now I’ll never know if you’re telling the truth,” he jokes.

 

He watches them leave without another word. He follows them with his eyes out the door, then he blinks, and they’re gone. 


End file.
